


Are You Shatting Me: A Documentary on Life as a Third Wheel with Matt Holt and Takashi Shirogane by Katie Holt AKA Pidge Gunderson

by SolisAutemTerra



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (maybe a little angst), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, M/M, Pidge | Katie Holt Being a Little Shit, angst what angst, keith and pidge are FRIENDS, no sad allowed, other than that this is the good time train, pidge's inner thoughts are almost as emo as keith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-16 17:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11833116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolisAutemTerra/pseuds/SolisAutemTerra
Summary: in which matt and shiro are gay bfs and pidge decides to document her life as a third wheel with themUpdates on Friday!





	1. mom holy fuck

**Author's Note:**

> pidge acts like this is an actual nature documentary

_We're in the natural habitat of the Matt Holt. Here in its den called the Holt household, he awakes from his slumber. Such a creature is dangerous in this moment, for in the mornings its attitude is the wors--_

"Katie… stop recording me like we're in a nature documentary!"

Although his words were slightly slurred because of the remnants of sleep that clung to his voice, the elder sibling gives quite a glare to his younger sister who had just barged into his room with phone in hand, holding it in a way that was obvious she was taking a picture or a video; most likely the latter because of her commentary earlier. Matt grabs some blankets from his ungodly amounts of blankets on his bed (why did he get so much?? She wants a whole lump of blankets too!!) and tucks it closer to himself to fend off cold morning air. 

"He awakes!" she feigns a gasp that's laced with fear. Katie ventures closer with a mischievous grin and inside her phone she zooms into the other's face comically. "The Matt Holt gives quite the intimidating glare when first awoken because he simply just does not enjoy the mornings."

Just then, that suspicious mountain of blankets beside Matt shuffles, a low groan emitting from it and Katie realizes that blankets _really shouldn't be making noises._ "Is that Katie…?" The lump asks beside Matt and before long there's a head of black hair that poking out beside Matt. "Good mor'ing…."

And then Katie realizes that _okay wow Matt had a sleepover with his boyfriend and didn't tell her._ "You brought Shiro home!!" She screeched with laughter, forgetting for a second that the phone in her hand was still recording. Thankfully she has a big brother to remind her what exactly she was doing. "Stop recording us!!"

So she does what every lovable little sibling does.

"The Matt Holt's mate, the Takashi Shirogane, begins to awaken right next to him!" she says with awe, angling the phone and zooming back out enough to shoot a shot of the elder Holt sibling who wore a glower on his face and a dazed still tired looking Shiro.  
"We were in luck, for with the Shiro here, he will be able to calm down the Matt enough before he rips us to shreds because of his moody morning attitudes."

Then Katie lowers her phone and grins ear to ear at Matt. All of a sudden he has a bad feeling about her shit eating grin.

"…. Katie, no."

She ignores him in favor of calling out the door and to the house. "Mom!!!"

He tumbles out of his bed in order to catch his devious sister. "Katie!!!"

Of course, she steps out of the way and starts running away. "MOM!!!! MATT AND SHIRO WERE FU--"

"KATIE!!!!"


	2. little siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they watch a solar eclipse w/ katie and keith and parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im late but im great(not really)

Usually the Garrison didn’t allow non-cadets or non-officials into the building. Not even close family, but since there was that upcoming solar eclipse the family of the cadets were invited to view the eclipse with their loved ones. That’s why Katie and her mom find themselves being escorted to the viewing area by Samuel and Matt Holt.

“Is there going to be anyone else we’ll be watching the eclipse with?” asked Colleena as she entwined her fingers with Sam, walking a little ways behind their kids, who were trying to have little scuffles and fights while at the same time heading down the hallway. Upon hearing her mother’s question, Katie scoffs to herself. _I bet it’s with Shiro._

“We’ll be with Shiro and his little brother, dear.” said Samuel, and Katie grinned smugly knowing her prediction was correct; however, this new talk about a little brother was curious. As if reading her mind, Matt ruffled her hair.

“You’re curious about Shiro’s brother, huh?” He grinned and indignantly, she stuck her tongue at him. “He managed to get the paperwork done a few months ago, but he finally was able to become his guardian. They’re adopted siblings.” Matt said, and Katie eagerly took this information. “His name’s Keith and he’s three years older than you.”

“He’s…. 14?”

“Yep! And he’s shown exceptional skill in piloting, so I think the Garrison will let him apply in early next year.”

“15 huh…”

“Keith’s a little shy,” Matt commented, “but I think you guys will get along well.”

 _I hope so,_ Katie solemnly thought.

 

Katie and Keith did, in fact, get along well.

When the Holt family got to the viewing area, Shiro was already prepared and waiting for them; having an impressively huge picnic blanket spread out with snacks and drinks neatly decorated across the blanket. Shiro himself was standing just as he was giving a raven haired teen a cup.

The teen himself was sitting in the midst of the blanket, closer to one of the blanket edges. His raven hair reached down to his neck, and he wore a red jacket that ended to his mid-torso. _That must be Keith,_ thought Katie.

“This is Keith, my little brother.” Shiro’s words confirmed her very thoughts. “Say hi, Keith”  
“Hi Keith,” Keith said.

“Finally, a person with snark and sarcasm. Sorry Matt, but I found my true long lost brother now.”

Matt stumbled forward a bit, because he had his arm around his little sister’s shoulders who, after making that statement, ducked under arms to escape his grip and was now making her way to the blanket. He faked an offended gasp and clutched his chest where his heart was to be. “I’m wounded! Without you, who am I going to torment? Who will I have now?”

“Go make out with Shiro!”

She makes herself comfortable next to Keith who peers at her shyly, but there was a curious gleam in his eyes as well. “I’m Katie.”

“Keith,” he replied softly. “Want some apple juice?”

“Sure thing.” A pause. “So… Are you Matt and Shiro’s 3rd wheel too?”

He grinned. “Yeah I've got the scars to prove it.”

 

“Look,” whispered Keith as he took another sip of his apple juice. “I bet, in a minute or something, they’re going to say something gay.”

Katie snickered and nodded in agreement while they sat together in the middle of the blanket (Katie managed to convince him to scoot in more to the middle so that they can grab what they wanted much more easier.) giving them a perfect view of their brothers in front of them, while her parents stayed in the back. “Maybe something like, ‘if you were a solar eclipse, I’d willingly melt my eyes for you.’ or worse.”

“Shiro, who took the stars out of the sky and put them into your eyes?”

Katie exaggerated a faked disgusted gag and Keith frankly choked on his drink.

“They’re so in love it’s gross,” whispered Keith.

“Seconded,” replied Katie, thank god she wasn’t the lone 3rd wheel anymore.

The solar eclipse happened not long after that. Samuel had made sure everyone had their glasses for the eclipse. It wasn’t much, in Katie’s opinion, but it was good enough for her that Matt thoroughly enjoyed the event; he was nestled closely to Shiro’s side as he intently watched the eclipse.

The smile he had… She couldn’t help but be happy for him too. And when she looked over at Keith, she could tell he was feeling the exact same thing for her but with Shiro.

Shiro, he was probably having a field day with this, hanging out with Matt and his brother and his boyfriend’s family. Shiro seemed like the kind of person to be big on family.

“Matt, the solar eclipse is so beautiful.”

Katie was so happy her brother was so loved.

“Yes. Yes it is,” replied Matt.

Katie loved this family so much.

“Do you know what else is beautiful?” Shiro asked, the beginnings of tears becoming evident in the corners of his eyes.

_…. Wait. No, no, no._

“Memes?” answered Matt, already wiping away tears as his voice cracked.

“Memes.” Shiro nodded once, wiping at his eye as he gazed at Matt with raw emotions in his eyes lovingly at their mutual love for memes.

 _I hate this family so fucking much,_ Katie thought.

“I hate this family so fucking much,” Keith said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im still open for ideas(garrison days/ pre kerberos/ kerberos/ voltron/ aus/ etc etc all accepted) so hmu


	3. kerberos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is the "maybe a little angst" chapter  
> poor children

She didn't want to say that it was supposed to be a simple exploration mission, she _hated_ starting her thoughts like that; but damnit.

_It was supposed to be a simple exploration mission._

When her father had revealed that the mission to Kerberos would be a real thing and that it would happen within the next year, she and her family had rejoiced and celebrated the good news. It seemed absolutely perfect when she learned that her dad, Matt, and Shiro were going to three-man the mission. Like, it was as if some divine being up in the skies somewhere decided to _fucking bless the shit out of them._

_"It's literally your honeymoon," she had said one day while binge watching some documentaries about African animals with Keith. "Get it? Because you're literally going to a moon together, heh."_

_"Start packing some honey then, boys." Smirked Keith as he took a sip._

_The two big brothers gave an unimpressed look to their younger siblings. "You know," said Matt, leaning to Shiro and cupping the man's face with his hands and moving it so they could look directly into each other's eyes. "We're 23, young and in love." A side look to Keith and her as he made comical kissy faces to Shiro. "I say during the mission we run away and elope into the far galaxies where there's no younger siblings to pester us."_

_Shiro had chuckled, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's body lovingly. "Or we can drag them along with us; stuff them into the trunk so that the Garrison doesn't know," he suggested. "So that no matter what, they will always know that they're our third wheels."_

_"Ugh, no," she groaned. "Show us mercy and spare us the misery. It's gross watching you guys trying to eat other other's faces out."_

_"And grope each other like horny teenagers, in which, I guess you guys sort of are," added Keith with an innocent blink._

_"No more apple juice for the day for you."_

_"… But Shirrroooo…"_

_"Bleh, ignore them. Look Keith, the Owls are back."_

_"I wanna see the hippos…"_

But now, she glared at the scissors in her hands and the face that glared back in the mirror. 

Such a glare didn't suit a face like Matt's at all.

But she wasn't Matt. She wasn't Katie either anymore now. She's Pidge, Pidge Gunderson. Pidge who happens to have a face like Matt's. Pidge, at the tender age of 15 was going to enter the Galaxy garrison at such a young age because of his incredible intelligence, who was going to look for Matt, unlike her mother who was grieving terribly and Katie, who had failed to fish out info from the Garrison.

_Fucking liars._

Shiro would never crash so fatally, not when he and Matt were so looking forward to accomplishing this mission. Keith knew this too; and he proved to be taking the news hard. His mental and physical health seemed to deteriorate, and it pained Pidge so much to see her friend like this; suffering and in internal pain. But Keith refused to interact with her new identity as he got into more and more frequent scuffles and arguments, and eventually, after seven months into the disappearance of the crew; Keith was booted entirely from the Garrison and she never saw him again after that. Leaving Pidge alone and feeling much more homesick then she had ever felt in her life.

And every night, she'd sneak onto the rooftops of the Garrison and look at the stars, determined to count each and every one of them every day to make sure there weren't additional three stars added to the dark canvas of the night.

She missed Shiro.

She missed Matt.

She missed her dad.

And although she firmly believes that they're out there somewhere, in the far galaxies of the universe where their younger siblings can't pester them, eloping and happy together(or at the very least; surviving together) she couldn't help but wonder if she's somehow miscounting the stars and skipping the three additional stars hidden expertly within the others.

She won't stop her search of course, she'd would never stop and would rather die trying before stopping. They were out there, alive, together, young and in love and with their dad. She refused to stop until she found them all again dead or alive.

But if she is somehow missing those stars, she can only believe that Matt and Shiro were still together, dancing among the stars; making elegant and tricky twists and turns and taking each step together with Samuel watching over them fondly as they all waited patiently for when Pidge, Keith, and Colleen to join them when it was _their_ time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, hmu with ideas ',:3c (quickly, before i run out of ideas,)


	4. snow (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sledding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a rlly small filler chapter bc im not finished with the main chapter that i had planned next

"Katie, you are never, ever, heading the sled ever again. EVER."

Looking up from where they were preparing their own sled to trek up along the hillside, Keith and Shiro see their Holt counterparts in…. Well, a wreck. A complete disaster. A white bombed, crash worthy, catastrophic Holt-made disaster. The two adopted siblings can see where Matt and Katie's own sled was overturned in the snow, the white specks covering the sled. The unfortunate body of Matt Holt can be seen about 5 feet from the crash site, the only victim and casualty of the accident, as he lay face up in the snow.

The cause of the accident, Katie Holt, was standing next to the sled, inspecting it for any damage that it may have gained after the crash, she had successfully escaped the sled from it's inevitable fate somehow, and merely grinned at her older brother. "I thought you were the one who wanted me to drive the sled because you can't drive for crap."

"You can't _drive,_ a sled, Katie!"

"Steering, whatever."

But seeing that they were both okay, Shiro shrugged and began hauling the sled up the hill, Keith trailing after him for their own turn of going down the hill. "You guys better move before we run you over." Keith called down the hill, Matt and Katie seemed to take the warning to heart and Matt got up from his moping and helped his sister with dragging away the sled they had crashed. With that, Keith turned to Shiro with a smirk. "Get in, loser. We're going sledding."

Needless to say, Shiro was terrified as Keith weaved back and forth between the trees that grazed them.

Matt and Shiro together decided afterwards that they would never ever enter a car or plane or anything if it was Katie or Keith driving or piloting said object.

("Cowards," Said Keith upon learning this.

"Nah," Interjected Katie. "Shiro's gonna drive and Matt's only gonna try to make out with Shiro; making them both crash far more worse then we ever will." She said dismissively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo it's my birthday tomorrow ;) u guys should like,,,, love me, plz, talke to me,

**Author's Note:**

> i want to write more for this so if ya'll have any ideas for these gays hmu


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